Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Fire in the Kitchen!
My Mother was in the kitchen last Tuesday or Wednesday, you know slaving over the stove to feed the masses, and she had all 4 burners of the stove running at the same time. Now, you would think that having all 4 burners on at the same time wouldn't be a problem, and it shouldn't be a problem, that is for a regular Mom. Well my mom is no regular mom. You see legend has it, that certain unfortunate moms, through no fault of their own, are to be haunted by a evil curse. A curse where all household appliances secretly band together against that mom to make all of her household efforts futile. It is the curse of the malfunctioning appliances! OOOOOhhhhh! (That was for dramatic effect, I hope you got that) Any way my poor mom just so happens to be a sufferer of this appliance curse therefore making her vulnerable in ways that other normal mom's, with all 4 burners on the stove running at the same time, could never dream of.
So we continue our story where we left off... with all 4 burners on at once. As you can probably guess sparks start to fly from the cursed stove. Mom, being the great heroin I know her to be, and also being aware of her appliance curse, is cunning enough not to reach across the sparking stove to turn some of the burners down or off. She tries to outwit the evil stove and the appliance curse by cutting them off at the source. The breaker! She runs out the front door to cut power to the blood thirsty stove and teach it a lesson it would not soon forget. Unfortunately my Mom isn't the fastest mom in the world and she didn't get to the breaker in the nick of time like the story books would like you to believe. Actually the exact opposite happened, she got to the breaker just after the nick of time had already passed and the cursed stove was able to start a fire in our heroin's kitchen.
Now Mom returns to the kitchen and discovers the fire started by the evil stove but never fear! Mom is not so easily outsmarted. She races to the kitchen cabinet in search of her secret weapon; the all powerful box of baking soda. Now that she has her secret weapon it is time to battle. The evil stove has had far too much time to reek havoc and fire on mom's kitchen and it's time has come. Back and forth they battle as baking soda, flames and thick black smoke fill the kitchen and then spread to the rest of the house. Finally our heroin, soot stained and weary realizes this battle can not be won if fought alone. So she calls for the trusty fire department to come to her aid and finally end the cursed stoves reign of fire. 4 fire trucks 3 police cars and 1 fire extinguisher later the battle is finally over the stove has been beaten. Hey, even the best heroes need to call for back up every now and again.